When A Wilted Flower Grows Thorns
by UNSEEN pagesxo
Summary: Akito has told Tohru a way to break the curse, but is it a lie? Is the family finally going to be free, or will more heartbreak and pain result from Akito's plot? [some spoilers, and a little bit of selfinjury. watch out in case you're easily triggered]
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket in any way. I do however, own this fabulous fanfiction which you will all reply to. :)

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CHAPTER 1

The chilling autumn wind whipped through Tohru Honda's silky almond hair. She pulled her sweater closer and hugged her warm arms against her body. _"Why did I wear a skirt today?"_ she thought to herself as the chilling wind blew upon her bare legs.

Late the night before, Hatori-san had called Shigure-san's house and said that Akito had requested to see Tohru the following morning. Shigure-san went along with Tohru (just in case something happened, you see.). They had left a note saying that they were visiting Momiji and Kisa for a little while; _why worry Yuki and Kyo over nothing_, they thought.

They walked down the tree-lined road in silence, each indulged in their own thoughts. Shigure was the first to speak, making Tohru jump and almost fall.

"Are you nervous about seeing Akito, flower?" he asked, his face shadowed with worry.

"A little bit. But it can't be _too_ bad. If it was, then he would have been more specific whether somebody could accompany me or not." Tohru answered, face flushed by the wind and voice sounding pleased at the excuse she found for Akito.

_You don't know Akito half as well as I do, little flower, _Shigure thought. _He's up to something; I can feel it in the air._

As they walked up to the front doors of the Main House, Shigure turned to Tohru and said, "You know Tohru, you can walk away from this right now. We could say that I forgot to give you the message."

Tohru looked up into Shigure-san's eyes. A wave of guilt washed over her as she saw the worry etched into his face.

_Creakkk_... went the door as the doctor of the Zodiac opened it and beckoned the two nervous figures inside.

"It's too late now." Tohru said, more to herself than to Shigure.

Hatori led Shigure and Tohru down a dark hallway and into a large chamber. "Akito will only be a moment," Hatori said, then added, "I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. Akito just said he needed to ask you something and that you would be home by noon at the latest." Although Hatori tried to sound calm, Tohru could still see the fear in his face.

The three sat together in an uncomfortable, stony silence. Shigure, who was usually cracking jokes at his little flower while laughing heartily, was now being eerily silent - much unlike himself. The twinkle that was usually glowing in his eyes was now clouded over with worry as he slumped against the wall and stared down at the dusty floor. Occasionally he would absently run his fingers through his wind-blown hair and mess it up even more. It was normal for Hatori to be silent and withdrawn, but now the life was hidden from his eyes as he too, leaned back upon the dark wall. Tohru noticed that he was fiddling with something in his pocket. Did Akito really have the power to have this great affect after only one phone call?

Young Tohru Honda was the only remotely calm person in the room. She had come to learn that the head of the Sohma family, Akito-sama, feeds off of hate and pain. He had a secret talent for making people believe that everything was their fault and making them feel guilty. This thought led her to bury her pain and fears deep down into the empty corners of her heart. _"He's lonely,"_ She often thought to herself.

After a few more moments of nerve racking silence, Tohru was called into Akito's chamber. Hatori and Shigure stood up to go with her, but were stopped short.

"Just the girl." Akito drawled, showing up in the doorway. His skin looked eerily pale next to the simple red kimono he was wearing. Etched into the silk was a peaceful scene of leaves falling from newly autumned trees. He paused, and then seeing a look of distrust on Hatori-san and Shigure-san's face, added, "Don't worry. You can wait out here and if you hear anything you don't like, come on in. Until then, I assure you, she'll be out in a little while." Reluctantly, Shigure-san and Tori-san slumped back against the wall and let Tohru enter Akito's chamber on her own.

Akito-san lay down on the floor beside the sliding doors that led to the inner garden. The wind tossed his midnight black hair around and the sun made his skin glow and eyes shimmer. Scents from the garden came flowing through the open doors. Tohru caught the fragrance of newly cut roses and it seemed to cling to her clothes and her hair.

"Ms. Honda, do you know why I have asked you here today?" Akito asked, his voice calm and smooth.

Tohru bowed her head so her silky hair flowed over her shoulders and said, "No Akito-sama." There was a moment of silence where Tohru found her heart beating faster and faster. Insecurities flew across her mind. Why wasn't Akito talking? Should she say something? She bit the insides of her cheeks and a moment later Akito said, "Dear Tohru-kun. Do you like living with the Sohma's? Are you happy with the life I am letting you live?"

"Yes Akito-sama, I am very happy." Tohru said, and bowed again to show her respects.

"Ms. Honda, I have no disrespect for you, as I have come to know that you have no disrespect for me. You have opened my family's hearts. But when you are part of the Juunishi, open hearts lead to pain. There are many secrets of the Sohma past that you don't know. You don't _want_ to know of the things that have gone on within the walls of this family. _I won't let you_." He paused again and then stood up and walked over towards Tohru. He sat down in front of her and stroked her cheek. "Dear little Tohru-kun. _Little flower_," he mocked, "If you love us Sohma's as you say you do, you have to leave. Break the curse and leave for good. It'll mend their hearts; it'll break the curse. But you _must do it my way_. Otherwise it won't work."

There was a moment of silence as Tohru's eyes shone brightly and her mind whirled. _Break the curse! I'll do anything!_ She thought. A spark of insecurity flickered in Akito-san's eyes before Tohru stated, eyes shining with joy, "Yes Akito-dono. I'll do anything."

"_Dono"? _Akito thought. _Not even my dear Juunishi have ever called me "dono". This girl is the real thing_, He paused for a moment. _Pity it has to end this way._

They talked in hushed voices over the next hour. The blueprints in Akito's mind now dripping from his lips like poison. His words entered Tohru's sunshined mind and blackened her soul. Tohru was now Akito's puppet, but she'd do anything to help her beloved Sohma family. They had suffered long enough, yet they could still make it through their days with smiles. Sometimes Tohru could see them forcing themselves, but over the few short months she had been living with them their smiles had become more genuine. They, more than anyone else, deserved to share those smiles with somebody they love. With those thoughts in mind, she pushed out her pain and created a small hole in her heart which she now filled with a concrete determination to break the Sohma family curse.

"Honda-san, are you okay?" Yuki's worried voice collided with Tohru Honda's thoughts, snapping her back into reality. Tohru shook her head to get rid of her dazed thoughts and stood up.

"I'm sorry Sohma-kun," she said, her face still a bit blank with daydreams. "I'm fine, just a little tired."

Shigure stood up and, while stretching, said, "Well, you had a pretty tiring day today. It'd be best if you get to sleep early so you're fit to help me tomorrow."

"Help you..?" Tohru said and then exclaimed, "Oh! Shigure-san I'm so sorry! I forgot I was supposed to help you rake the leaves tomorrow! Well don't worry; I'll be up bright and early!"

The oldest Sohma laughed and said, "Don't worry little flower. Just get a good night's sleep and see if you're up to it in the morning."

Tohru nodded and bade the dog and rat goodnight before heading upstairs to wash up. On her way to the bathroom, she spotted a ladder leaning against the outer wall of the house. _So that's where Kyo is,_ she thought to herself, _I had wondered where he'd been hiding._

Tohru-kun placed her towel on the bathroom sink and climbed up the ladder. It was a crisp and peaceful night. A light breeze glazed upon the treetops, causing the dead leaves to fall to the ground. She watched the leaves dance and swirl through the air before sweeping the pavement. Snow was in the air. That thought brightened up Tohru's now blackened mind. Snow would be coming any day now! It was already early December.

"Kyo-kun, what're you doing up here? You must be starving, would you like me to heat up the leftovers?" Tohru said to the stiff cat sitting cross legged on the hard shingles. She stood uncomfortably on the ladder, knee leaning on a sharp shingle, while she watched Kyo sit there stonily.

After a few moments if silence she said, "I'm sorry for disturbing you, I'll leave you alone now." And turned to descend back down the ladder.

"Where were you today?" Kyo suddenly asked, making Tohru slip down a few rungs of the ladder and bang her knee.

"I was with Momiji and Kisa." Tohru said, keeping her voice even. "Me and Shigure left you a note."

"I got the note," Kyo said, "But - funny... Momiji came here around eleven asking if you wanted to go to the movies with him and Haru. I told him that you had left hours ago, but he said he had no visitors. Where were you?"

"I-I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Kyo asked, turning towards Tohru.

"You'll understand in a few days. Shigure will fill you in on the details when the time comes. It's okay though, nothing's wrong."

"What do you mean 'nothing's wrong'? If you say that then something obviously is wrong!" Kyo asked, looking more worried than mad.

"Don't worry Kyo-kun," Tohru said smiling. "It'll be over soon. It's okay."

"What are you talking about?" Kyo snapped. "What'll be over soon?"

Tohru paused for a few seconds before answering, "Your pain." And then descended down the ladder.

After a few moments, when Kyo was sure that Tohru was nestled safely in her bed, he hurried down the ladder to interrogate Shigure. He walked down the dimmed hallway and into Shigure's office.

"Shigure! Where were you and Tohru this morning?" Kyo questioned while stepping towards a dazed Shigure-san.

"Whatever do you mean, Kyo-bozu?" Shigure said, "Me and Tohru left you a note explaining that we were with Momiji and Kisa earlier today."

"Don't give me that bullshit!" Kyo shot at him, brushing of the "bozu" part, as he watched Shigure shuffle through stacks of worn papers. "Momiji came here around eleven," Shigure-san's hand paused in the air as Kyo continued: "He wanted to know if Tohru wanted to see a movie with him and Haru. I said that you and her had left hours ago. Momiji thought you both had gotten hurt. We both thought you died."

"Kyo," Shigure said evenly, "You're meddling with things you're not involved in. Let it go."

"I will _not_ let it go! Something's going on with Tohru! I deserve to know, dammit!"

"Why are you so concerned? Not even I know all of the details. There may be nothing wrong."

"Dam you Shigure! Why don't you just open your eyes? Stop shutting out reality! Life isn't all about laughter and flowers!"

"Not when my flower is concerned. She doesn't deserve any more darkness in her life."

"_Yeah?"_ Kyo huffed,_ "Well neither do I."_

Kyo dashed out of the room, leaving the aging author alone in his office with only a growing blanket of silence curling him up in his own darkened thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket in any way.**

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**CHAPTER 2**

Tohru awoke with a start in the early hours of the morning. The mid night horrors cascading down her back as her sea-green eyes focused with the darkness. What had scared her so? She closed her eyes tight and rubbed her temples with her forefingers. What was that dream about? Darkness - that's all she could remember. The dream was quickly slipping out of her mind and after a few minutes she gave up. She decided to head downstairs and start breakfast. She quickly dressed and descended down the stairs and into the spacious kitchen. As the sun was slowly rising, she made tea, molded onigiri, and set the table. As she was washing the cooking dishes, she heard Kyo and Shigure argue.

"Kyo, you're not involved! Stay out of it!"

"If whatever's going on is _so safe_ then why don't you just tell me?"

Just then, interrupting their fight, stumbled in Yuki. "What are you fighting about, baka neko?" he asked, rubbing his eyes.

Kyo ignored him and shot at Shigure, "It's not like she went to see Akito, right?"

Shigure's eyes blazed with fear. The color in Yuki's face drained out as he whispered, "Akito?"

Before allowing the conversation to go any further, Tohru hurried out and said, "Good morning Sohma-kun, Shigure-san, Kyo-kun. Breakfast is ready." She led them to the table where they are their meal in a heavy silence. All that was heard was the quiet tapping of chopsticks on plates and slurps as people drank.

"I'm sorry!" Tohru suddenly said, bowing her head, "I didn't mean to start all of this fighting. It's all my fault. I'm so sorry."

Yuki turned to her and said, "Ms. Honda, nobody is fighting because of you."

Shigure's eyes were wide with worry and Kyo slumped down in his seat. Tohru rung her hands together in her lap while Yuki patted her knee.

"I'm sorry," Tohru said again, "I'll tell you anything you want. Well, _almost_ anything. There are a few details I can't tell you, but you'll understand when the time comes."

She'd tell them anything? Kyo opened and closed his mouth several times before finding the right words. "Where were you yesterday?" he finally asked.

"Akito's." Tohru mumbled.

"Why did you lie to me - to us?" Kyo asked, the pained sound in his voice caused Tohru to flinch.

"I-I didn't want to worry you over nothing. Me and Shigure-san didn't think it was necessary."

Shigure, who had been tapping his fingers to his lips, finally spoke saying, "What did Akito-sama say to you, flower?"

Tohru was quiet for a moment and then said, "I can't tell you. I'm so sorry."

There was a moment of silence where the dog, cat, and rat processed what she had just said. _She can't tell us? Why not? _Then Yuki asked, "Why can't you tell us?"

Tohru paused, thinking carefully of her next words. "Because it wouldn't work," she finally said.

Then she stood up, dusted off her knees and said, "Well, those leaves won't rake themselves," and marched out the door.

With Tohru's abrupt absence, Kyo jumped up and said, "Dammit! Why won't she tell us!" and then stormed out after Tohru. He found her rummaging through the garage, looking for rakes.

"Tohru!" he shouted, making her jump.

"Yes Kyo?" she answered, smiling freely.

"Tell me, what's going on? I need to know Tohru. _I need to know._"

"It's going to happen tonight Kyo." Tohru answered with a dark blank stare. "You'll know in the morning. Akito will fill you in. Don't worry though; you'll all be happy soon."

"Tohru! What are you talking about? Stop talking in code! I just want to know if you're alright."

Tohru paused and said, "I'll be just fine."

This was getting nowhere. Kyo rubbed his temples in frustration and punched the wall. _Why did she have to be like this?_ Tohru just smiled to herself and formulated her plan for later that night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket in any way.

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CHAPTER 3

It was cold. Akito's words played over and over in her head.

"_Thirteen cuts, straight across your wrist. One cut for each zodiac member, and one remaining for Kyo. Let your blood touch Sohma soil. Do you think you can do this?"_

"_Yes Akito-sama. I'm ready."_

"_Do it whatever day you wish. You don't have to rush."_

"_Yes Akito-sama."_

Tohru had excused herself from dinner, saying she needed some fresh air. She hid a razor blade in her pocket and stepped into the cool night. She gave one last look at the Sohma house, blew them a kiss and whispered "I love you," before heading towards the secret base. There, she sat on a full-size steely cold rock and pulled out the sleek metal blade. It glistened in the moonlight as Tohru turned it over in her hands.

"No worries," she whispered as she pulled out a letter she had written earlier to "whom it concerns".

She placed the metal blade upon her wrist and paused. _Anything for the Sohma's_, she thought. She pulled the razor quickly and silently across her wrist. A thin line of blood appeared over her vein as thoughts rushed to her head.

"_This is for you Shigure-san. You took me in when I had nowhere to go. I love you." _

She lifted her arm and held it in the air, directing the blood onto the ground.

Cut Number 2, _"This is for you Yuki. Thank you for being 'you'. Although you have been through _so_ much more pain than me, you still have the will to smile. Your smile has brightened my dark thoughts. I love you."_

More blood dripped upon the now stained grass. Time for cut number three.

"_This is for you Kyo," _she repeated, _"You taught me how to be myself. Under your tough shield, I believe you really love life. Live it to the fullest. I love you for everything."_

Down trickled evermore blood.

Cut Number 4, _"This is for you Momiji. I want you to forget this memory. _Only_ this memory. Smile at all the other one's we've shared together. As you said at the onsen, 'Wenn schon, denn schon.' Well this is what I have to do. Verzeihung. I love you."_

A small puddle of crimson liquid now tainted the velvety grass. Nine more times she followed this suite, spilling evermore blood onto the blanket of grass beneath her feet. Each new cut caused more dizziness to wash over her. After a few moments, she passed out - falling into a puddle of her own blood.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket in any way.

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CHAPTER 4**

"_It's going to happen tonight." _She had said with a dark blank stare.

Tohru's words rang eerily in Kyo's mind. What had she meant? And, why wasn't she back from her walk? It's been a while...

Frustrated with his own thoughts, Kyo jumped up, grabbed his jacket and dashed outside. It was cold and Kyo was glad that he brought his new fleece jacket. He scanned the grounds quickly and with no sign of Tohru, began walking in miscellaneous directions.

_There's probably nothing wrong, _Kyo thought to himself, _she probably just fell asleep on the back porch again._ Still, with a sick feeling in his gut, he kept walking. Further he walked across Sohma property. Then, he stopped.

"Yuki's secret base," he muttered heatedly to himself as he kicked the ground. He turned to head back to the house when something caught his eye. Across the base, lying near that big rock; something, some_body_, was on the floor. _Tohru!_

Kyo ran across the base - killing Yuki's vegetables along the way. He knelt down next to Tohru and shook her while whispering, "Tohru. Hey, Tohru wake up. You'll freeze to death out here." There was now a warm sticky liquid on Kyo's hands. He absently wiped them on his pants and, with the light of the moon, saw what it was. _Blood! Oh Tohru, what did you do...?_

He bent back down and shook her furiously. "Tohru, wake up! WAKE _UP_!"

His heart faltered as he looked at her pale lifeless face. Her skin looked pale and the gashes on her wrists looked deep and painful. Any longer and she would die. He carefully picked her up, expertly holding her away from his body. He ran back to the Sohma house, almost knocking down the door.

"Kyo-kun, can you please not ruin my hou-" Shigure started, the paused when he saw what Kyo-kun was holding. His face drained of color as he yelled, "Yuki-kun! Call Hatori, now!"

Yuki-kun, who had been in the kitchen, walked in when he heard Kyo barge in. "Whatsamatter?" he asked while stretching.

"Just-call-Hatori." Kyo said through gritted teeth. Yuki angrily glanced over at him and then seeing what Kyo was holding, his mouth dropped open.

"What did you do!" he roared.

"CALL HATORI-SAN!" Shigure yelled, causing Yuki to jump and run out the door.

"What happened to her?" Shigure asked shakily. Kyo glared at him, causing Shigure to nod. He was silent for a fraction of a second, then said, "Bring her into my office. Lay her down on the couch." And left the room.

Kyo nodded and followed Shigure-san's directions. He carefully set Tohru down on the couch and gently stroked her hair. He could hear her breathing heavily. In and out, in and out. Her face showed pain; Kyo-kun turned away, he didn't think he could look at her a second longer.

Shigure and Yuki stepped into the room, each breathing heavily.

"Hatori will be here any minute." Yuki said as Shigure wrapped a blanket around a frail Tohru.

"Shigure," Yuki asked, "Why didn't we just take Tohru to the hospital? Why wait for Hatori?"

Shigure paused before saying, "Because it looks like a suicide attempt. It _is_ a suicide attempt. If she got better, they would have to look over her. I'm not her guardian or _yours_ now that we mention it. They would ask questions. How would you answer them? _'She did it to break the curse that's been haunting our family for generations.'_? You know that's exactly why she did it. It would arouse too many complications. And... you may be taken away from me. You may not know it, but I love you each _very_ much."

They sat in a stony silence for a few minutes, each person occasionally checking to make sure Tohru was still breathing. A few moments after the sixth check, Hatori walked in; not bothering to knock.

He pulled over a stool, told everyone to leave the room, and sat down next to Tohru. Yuki hadn't told him what happened on the phone, so when he saw the gashes on her wrists his breath got caught in the back of her throat.

_This is Akito's doing_, he thought grimly. For the next few minutes he worked on helping Tohru. In all of his years he had never held somebody's life in his hands. He didn't know if he could do it.

After a few moments he dashed out of the room, almost tripping over Shigure, who was sitting by the door. Kyo and Yuki stood up as soon as he walked into the room.

"What blood type are you?" Hatori asked them.

"O positive," Shigure said.

"A positive," Yuki said.

"Ditto to the rat boy." Kyo answered.

"Good," Hatori sighed, "Come in here with me."

The two followed the doctor back into Shigure's office. "She needs blood. Are you willing to give any?" Hatori asked.

Without any hesitation Kyo rolled up his sleeve and Yuki followed in suite. Hatori smiled at the determined looks in the boys' eyes. Hatori took out two syringes with tubes attached and poked each boys' veins. The dark red liquid shot up the tubes and in no time Hatori had about five little bottles. He got a new syringe, applied the tubes of blood to the top, and injected blood into Tohru's system. Within minutes her face wasn't as pale and her body looked more life like. After he injected all of the bottles of blood, he started to work on her wrists. He got a clean cloth, dabbed water and a healing solution and gently wiped away the blood off of Tohru's arms. When it was all clean, he started to stitch up the too-deep cuts. He saw Yuki flinch at the sight of the needles going in and out of Tohru's body.

"Don't worry." The doctor said, "I gave her a sedative before I gave her the blood. She doesn't feel a thing."


	5. Chapter 5

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket. Wish I did though. :) **

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CHAPTER 5

Seconds turned into minutes which turned into hours. Every so often Hatori would check to see if Tohru was better or if she had gotten a fever. The only time anybody left her side was to get tea.

In the early hours of the next morning Shigure was the only one awake in the room. Tohru's conscience absence left the house empty and cold. Seeing that she was shivering, Shigure got a blanket from the closet and tucked it around her petite body. She flinched and he saw the pain etched in her face. The color drained from his features as he saw the struggle in her movements. She shifted a bit to get comfortable and, giving up, opened her eyes.

"Shigure!" she exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"

"Watching you, little flower." He said, brightening that she was awake.

"But...but it wasn't supposed to work out this way! You're supposed to be happy and laughing! It...It looks like you were crying..."

"You scared us Tohru. We thought you died." He said lightly.

"I was supposed to!" Tohru exclaimed, seemingly mad at herself. "The curse is supposed to be lifted! I'm supposed to be dead! I'm so sorry, I'm supposed to be dead."

She was crying and Shigure looked down at her helplessly.

"Flower - we wouldn't know what to do if you left us. Believe me, we would rather have the curse _and_ you than nothing at all. We love you Tohru, we would die if you died."

"I'm sorry," she said weakly and lifted up her arm and winced, "It hurts."

"Do you want me to get Hatori-san? He could give you something to ease the pain."

Tohru shook her head and pushed herself into a sitting position. "It's just a little sore," she glanced at the clock, "Shigure-san, it's late. I should go get breakfast, then get ready for school." She threw the blanket off of her and began to stand up. Shigure gently pushed her down and said, "No school for you today, you need to rest."

Tohru looked at the ground in defeat. She was too tired to argue. She looked up at him and with a tired smile said, "At least let me make everybody breakfast. They may be hungry when they wake up."

Shigure shook his head and said, "Allow me. Just think of today as your day off. It'll be Tohru's Super Duper Princess Day!" With that he bowed and walked out of the room. Tohru felt alone in the room as thoughts overcame her. _"Who ever saw a princess with cuts on her wrist?" _she thought grimly to herself.

She glanced around the room at the sleeping men beside her. Yuki was sprawled out on the couch next to the door; Hatori was sitting on the computer chair, arms and head lying on the desk; and Kyo was lying on the floor next to the couch Tohru was on. Tohru placed a blanket over him and carefully stepped over his body. She walked out of the room and headed towards her bathroom. She quickly took a shower, redressed, and headed downstairs.

Hatori and Shigure were talking in hushed voices and when Tohru walked in they stood up. "Are you feeling okay?" Hatori asked worriedly.

Tohru nodded and said, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen. I wanted to help you. I'm sorry - I mess everything up."

Hatori shook his head and patted her hand. "I'm glad you're alive," he said, "We wouldn't know what to do without our little flower."

_Little flower_. Tohru let the words sink in and blushed. Hatori had never called her "little flower" before; that had only been Shigure's nickname for Tohru.

Shigure grabbed his chest in pain and jokingly said, "Stealing her name now, eh? Well, I say: a battle to the death!" Shigure pulled a pair of chopsticks from the table and playfully poked Hatori. Frustrated, Hatori pulled a syringe out of his pocket and warned, "Any closer and I'll use you as a human dartboard."

"Do you keep spares in your pocket?" Shigure mocked.

"Occasionally." Hatori answered as he gently poked Shigure with the empty syringe.

"Tohru! Hari hurt me!" Shigure wailed as he jumped behind Tohru. She couldn't help but laugh and her face broke into a big smile. She clutched her side and carefully eased her way down into an empty chair causing Hatori to ask, "Are you okay? How do you feel?"

Tohru thought for a few minutes and then quietly retaliated, "Empty."

Her stomach quivered and she felt like she was going to cry. She felt guilty, twisted, and confused. Akito had given her specifics; she wasn't supposed to be here. She felt weak deep inside. She had not only failed Akito, but also the Sohma's and herself. _It wasn't supposed to be like this_, she thought. _It wasn't supposed to end this way!_

_Is this the beginning or the end? _A voice challenged. She didn't care. She failed. She failed...

"I'm tired," she said, getting up. "I'm gonna go lie down in my room."

Shigure and Hatori nodded and when she was out of earshot, Hatori mumbled, "She won't be the same now, you know that, right? Things are going to change."

Shigure nodded, "I know. My flower is wilting."


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. But I DO own Kyo-kun. :P

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CHAPTER 6

About a half hour after Tohru awoke, the sun started to rise and along with it, Yuki and Kyo. They both sat down next to Hatori and Shigure and waited for an explanation. After a few moments of silence, Yuki asked, "Where is she?"

"Sleeping," Hatori answered.

"Is she okay?" Yuki asked.

"As okay as somebody will be after an attempted suicide." Shigure answered grimly. Kyo flinched at the word "suicide".

"It wasn't an attempted suicide," he growled. "It was and attempted murder."

Silence followed Kyo's statement as the words sunk in. Murder was better than suicide. Or was it? In this case it was. What nobody was saying is: In each case somebody dies.

Tohru hadn't gone to sleep; she wasn't remotely tired. She was just...numb. She was now sitting on the roof, watching the clouds go by and leaves swirl. Today the sky didn't seem so blue and the sun didn't seem so bright. One thought kept running through her head, "Every winter the leaves die, but by spring they come back. Will I really be the same; my old self; by spring?"

A noise came from the left side of the house, causing her to jump and slide down a little bit. Kyo popped his head up and looked surprised to see somebody sitting there.

"Watchya doin' up here?" he asked.

"Thinking," she answered, closing her eyes and leaning back.

"About what?" he asked, lifting himself upon the roof and making his way towards Tohru.

"I'm wondering if clouds taste like cotton candy. The pink kind or even the blue. If clouds taste like candy, then maybe rain tastes like a smoothie. You know, I've never tasted the rain."

"Well, that's something to add to your to-do list."

"But...but what if it never rains again? What if something happens and I can never taste the rain!"

"Don't worry Tohru. No matter what, I'll make sure you taste the rain."

Tohru started crying and Kyo rubbed her arm to comfort her.

"You shouldn't be sitting here with me." Tohru cried, "I failed. You could be happy now."

When Kyo didn't answer, she got up and ran down the ladder. She hurried into her room, grabbed a heavy sweater out of her closet, and ran out of the Sohma house.

_Thump, thump, thump_. Went Tohru's feet against the hard pavement. She didn't know where she was going; she just needed to get away. The Sohma house was mocking her. All she felt there was pain. The house itself seemed to ridicule her for everything she wasn't. _I failed_.

She found herself sitting next to her mother's grave. No surprise; her feet knew their way there by heart.

"I don't know what to do mom. I'm a failure." She cried to the lifeless grave stone. "You know what makes death easier mom? Seeing you again. Before I thought of that, death seemed scary. But now I see me and you in heaven, sitting at a corner store laughing about nothing. Then we pick flowers in a never ending meadow. The days in heaven are always sunny, the nights are always starry. Now...now days are bleak. I don't know what to do anymore. The sun is too bright or not bright enough. The darkness of the night consumes me. Stars and moons don't exist now. I don't know what to do anymore!"

She cried and cried. Sixteen year old Tohru Honda cried until her throat was sore and her eyes ran out of water. What now?

One step at a time. A journey of a thousand miles starts with one single step. But which direction to travel in? In no time, Tohru found herself standing in front of Akito's chamber.

"Come in," Akito said quietly. He had been taken aback when he saw tear streaked Tohru standing in front of him at nine at night. Tohru stepped into his room, bowed, and lowered herself to the floor. He shook his head, "No, no. On the couch Tohru." She stood up and walked over to the red silk couch. _He sure does like the color red_, Tohru thought to herself.

"What are you doing here Tohru-kun?" Akito's voice drawled from next to her.

"I'm sorry Akito-sama. I failed you." Tohru whimpered from beside Akito.

"You know what must be done now, don't you Tohru. We talked about this."

"Yes I know, Akito-dono. I'll come by tomorrow."

"Very good, Tohru-kun. Being selfish is no way to live now, is it?"

"No it isn't," Tohru sniffed.

"That's what I thought. I shall have everybody report here by noon, you shall be here by then also."

"Yes Akito-dono."

The estate was eerily quiet. The twelve members of the zodiac (along with Kyo) sat at a long mahogany table, etched with their year in the dark wood. Akito had summoned everybody here, not coming would be unthinkable.

Hatsuharu stared blankly at the wall. Momiji, who was beside him, glared carefully at the carvings on the table. Shame, even poor Momiji knows how to act in front of Akito.

They all sat in an ear shattering silence and minutes later, Akito showed up before them. He looked weak, yet he still had a wicked aura about him.

"My dear Juunishi, I have asked you all to come here this fateful day, because one you _so dearly _love is betraying you."

Movement had left the room ages ago, but now it seemed as if nobody breathed. _No_, Yuki thought. _Not Tohru. Not Tohru!_

"Please come in, _dear flower_." Akito floured, facing a door behind him. After his words, in walked sixteen year old Tohru Honda, looking more terrified than ever. Akito stepped to the side, allowing Tohru in front of him.

Tohru bowed and shakily said, "As you all know, my mission to end the curse failed." She paused, regaining her posture and trying not to cry. "You see, me and Akito-dono had a deal."

Every back went rigid as they heard the words, "Akito-dono" escape Tohru's lips. She was gone now.

"If I failed, then I would have to get my memories suppressed. Not just about you," she sniffed, "But of everything. I will no longer remember the time I spent with you, the memories we've shared. I will no longer remember my mother, or the things that she's taught me. And I will no longer remember my friends, Uo and Hanajima." Tohru paused and then went on, more regained than before, "But if I could do it over again, I would in a heart beat. All I want for you all is happiness, and I am truly sorry that I could not bring it to you. This is for the better. I could not make you happy; I could not break the curse. I failed."

Silence followed Tohru's speech. Suddenly Momiji said while crying, "Tohru, why do you want to leave me? I love you. _We all_ love you. Please don't leave us."

"I'm sorry Momiji," Tohru answered, eyes brimming with tears. "I just have to."

"No!" he shouted. "You don't! You're running away from your memories Tohru! Didn't you tell me that no memory is okay to forget! Then why are you giving away the most precious memories that you have! You can't keep running away Tohru!"

"Akito," Shigure growled, "Don't make her do this. You cannot allow her to do this."

"_I _cannot allow her?" Akito snapped. "_I!_ I can to anything! This wench has no right living with my family! Do you really think she, _she_ could break the curse?"

"Yes, we do. We all do." Shigure retaliated.

"Not Hatori. _Hatori_ is still waiting for _Kana_. Do you remember Hatori? You thought Kana could break the curse also. What makes Tohru so different from Kana, hmm? They're both WEAK! They do not deserve my family."

"We are not _your family_! _She_ is _our family._" Yuki roared.

Akito slowly turned to Yuki and softly said, "Yuki. Dear Yuki-kun. You would choose this girl - this _wench_ - over me?"

"In-a-heart-beat." Yuki said through clenched teeth.

"ARGH!" Akito yelled as he threw Tohru into the brick wall behind him. She crumbled to the ground but Akito continued to kick her and kick her.

"Hatori!" he screamed still beating on a bleeding Tohru. "ERASE-HER-MEMORIES. IF-YOU-LOVE-HER-DO-IT. IF-NOT-LET-ME-KILL-HER."


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. But I do own a Fruit Cake. Mmmm

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CHAPTER 7

Amnesia. That's what the doctor had said when Tohru found herself in a comfortable room surrounded by unfamiliar faces. She counted, her mind fuzzy. Thirteen. Thirteen people were crammed in the small room with her, looking upon her with sad and eager eyes. Amnesia. It sunk in, but how?

"I'm sorry," one of the thirteen said hesitantly. "You were walking out of the super market and I ran into you." _Most unlikely_, he thought with a sigh, but continued, "You fell to the ground. Do you remember anything?"

Tohru reached around in her brain carefully, sorting through the memories that didn't seem to belong to her. "Uhm," she said, "I'm living with my grandfather. He's getting the house renovated while living with my aunt and uncle. I was supposed to stay with a friend, but I can't remember who..."

Her head felt heavy and her eyes drooped. The thirteen gathered around her and had to lean in to hear her whisper, "I'm sorry." Then she was out.

They stayed, the loyal Juunishi. Nothing would go back to the way it was all those months. She wouldn't remember anything. That infamous "anything" group also including her best friends and her mother. _It wasn't supposed to end this way_. Wasn't that what Tohru had said that night? She didn't know how right she was.

"We could have done something, you know." Kyo said, his voice an uncommon mixture of sadness and guilt. He was glancing at his bracelet, twirling it unconsciously with his fingers. A look of defeat and grief was plastered on his face. Although Tohru was temporarily gone in a deep sleep, her former characteristics lingered in the old house, as if a ghost in its haunting area.

Hatori glanced at him, his heart sagging as he looked at the lost look on Kyo's face. Without Tohru, there was nothing left for him. For anybody. You could just say that she was dead, and bury her remnants. That would have been easier, knowing that she could be gone once and for all. But, this way, the young men that had grown to love her would have to see her at school and around town. "What could we have done Kyo?" the doctor said resignedly, trying to make it sound like it was a done deal. "You saw what Akito was doing to her. She would have died."

Kyo glanced back at his bracelet, knowing what Hatori was saying was true. But Kyo never cared for the truth. As the old saying goes, the truth hurts.

Around the room, the collection of gloomy people stole half hidden glances at their Tohru. The fairy tale story of "Sleeping Beauty" foolishly made its way into Shigure's mind. Spindle, along with fairy godmother's and magic potions. But dark. Not like the bright and cheery one the media often put on T.V., trying to convince young kids that yes, dreams and wishes do come true. But they don't. At least, not for the Sohma family. And that's when he started writing.

Tohru awoke a few hours later, the crowd in the room fast asleep. She pushed a blanket off of her and placed it on the red head on the floor beside the couch. She got a sharp pain in her arm and glanced down at the bandages. _I must have cut myself when that person bumped into me,_ Tohru thought dismissively. She looked up to see a handsome man with medium length at work behind a crowded desk. _Funny,_ she thought. She had an overwhelming feeling of déjà vu. _This has happened before, me and him alone in a room of sleepers._

"Uhm, excuse me?" she called out quietly.

Shigure glanced up and smiled. He capped his pen and said, "Do you need anything?"

Tohru swayed slightly, still feeling a bit light headed. "No," she answered, "I was just wondering where I am. And who you are..."

Shigure smiled again and said, "I don't know if you remember, but we had explained that you got bumped into." Tohru nodded and Shigure flinched slightly. "Well, we carried you to our house. My cousin is a doctor, so he took good care of you."

Tohru nodded and, gaining her composure, bowed. "Thank you so much. My name's Tohru Honda. How can I repay you?"

_Just remember_, Shigure thought sadly. "No, no. There's nothing you have to do, it was our pleasure. If you wish, you can stay for breakfast and then we will drive you home."

Tohru nodded and said, "Thank you. You're so kind... Mr...?"

"Ah! I forgot my manners. I'm sorry, Shigure Sohma."

Tohru smiled and said, "That name sounds so familiar. I just can't seem to place it with anything..." she was quiet a minute and then asked quietly, "When will my memory come back?"

"I'm sorry," Shigure answered. "I'm not the doctor. But, he'll tell you in the morning."

"Oh! What time is it? It must be awfully late for everybody to be asleep already."

Shigure glanced at the clock and said, "5:42. They should actually be arousing soon."

"Oh, then please, let me make breakfast for all you've done for me. I know it isn't much, but I'm not sure I can do much else."

Shigure smiled and nodded, grateful that Tohru hadn't changed. "I'll lead you to the kitchen."

The twelve remaining woke up rather early for their late night. Yuki rubbed his eyes and asked, "Is she gone?"

"You know Tohru." Shigure answered with a sad smile, "She's in the kitchen."

Yuki and Kyo, right along with Momiji, Kisa, and Haru, jumped up, already heading towards the kitchen. _So it was all a bad dream!_ Yuki thought wistfully, _Tohru's not leaving! _But one look at Shigure's face made him realize that he was mistaken. Shigure shook his head solemnly and said, "She wanted to repay us. She's making breakfast. Afterwards she's leaving."

Hatori had already awaken and asked, "What's going on?"

Haru glared at him and Momiji said, "I hate you," with more venom than anybody would have ever thought could come out of the dear Rabbit's mouth. And with those three words, they knew it was the end. Momiji meant those words, and with the truth, so did everybody else. Once again, Hatori took the blame and placed it upon his own shoulders instead of Akito's.

Haru took Momiji's hand, along with Kisa's and dragged them out of the room. Hiro trudged along, reaching out for Kisa's hand and holding onto it like it was his life support. He kicked himself mentally, while wishing to do so physically. Young Hiro Sohma regretted the mean things he had said to Tohru. He had treated her with disdain, jealous that she had won over Kisa's heart. But, along the way, she had melted the ice off of his as well. And he had no way of letting her know. _I hate you Hatori_, the words felt so easy in his mind, but he couldn't let them escape his lips. He felt enough regret at the moment. He didn't need another victim on his shoulders.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket in any way at all.

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**CHAPTER 8**

_The memories will come back within a few weeks. Some may be missing, but many will be gained. You won't have to worry about it._

The doctor had acted purely professional. But that was all it was, an act. Although Tohru didn't know that. _She_ didn't remember the first snow fall of the season, sitting with Hatori while he reminisced about happier days. _He_ did. Once again, it was Hatori that was left with all the pain; all the memories.

_The doctor was wrong_, Tohru thought to herself. _It's been a month, maybe I should go back to him._

And that was that. The next day, she was back at the Sohma estate, reminiscing on memories that once again, didn't seem to belong to her. There had been a lot of those lately. Memories that she felt so clearly, but didn't know who that red head was, or why was I hugging that dog?

She knocked on the door, quietly but firmly. "Come in," said a lazily clipped voice from behind. She eased the door open and looked into the eyes of the now lonely doctor. He drank in her profile, every image, every angle. Surprised he said, "Ms. Honda. May I ask what you're doing here?"

She bowed low and said, "I'm sorry for not calling but I must have misplaced your number. You see, this past month has been hectic..."

"Ah. Would you like to have a seat?" She nodded and sat down across from him. "Explain what's been going on."

"I-I can't remember new things, Mr. Sohma." He shook his head.

"Please, just call me Hatori." Tohru nodded and blushed, as another sensation of déjà vu swept over her.

"Uhm, right. As I was saying. I can't remember new things anymore. I'll write down the assignment for homework in class, but by the time I get to my locker, I forgot where I wrote it down." She paused, looking up at him. "And then, I'll be right in the middle of looking for something, and then realize that I'm not quite sure what I'm looking for."

Hatori nodded and jotted something down on an open notebook on his desk. He was about to say something when Tohru cut him off, "And then there's those dreams."

This peeked his interest. He looked up at her as she continued, "Most of them scare me. I cry a lot in my sleep, calling out names that I can't place with faces. _Momiji, Kisa, Hatsuharu_... I have déjà vu all the time, and I can't figure it out. And, there's always... him." Tohru shuddered, not wanting to say anymore.

"Who's him?" Hatori asked, looking at her sympathetically. _This has to be so hard for her_.

"I don't know! That's what I came here to find out Hatori. I don't remember anything! I have friends that I don't remember, and they tell me stories that I don't remember. They show me pictures that I don't remember anybody taking. I don't remember them. I don't remember me! And then my grandfather calls me "Kyoko-san". He said that she's my mother, but I don't remember anything. Why can't I remember anything about her when I spent sixteen years with her? WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER ANYTHING!" She was crying, and she couldn't take it anymore.

Before Hatori could say anything, an angry boy with red hair came stalking in the room.

"That damn _rat_! Couldn't he just wait five more seconds? Kagura pummeled me. _Pummeled_ me. Look at that cut Hatori! I'm going to need stitches!" then he grumbled more words about that "rat boy". Hatori cleared his throat and nodded towards Tohru. Kyo blushed crimson and muttered "hello" while walking towards the door.

"Oh no!" Tohru squealed. "I'm sorry. There must be a family incident; I don't want to keep you waiting. I'm sorry Hatori-san. I didn't mean to drop by here so unexpectedly. But, thank you for listening to me. That helped more than you can imagine!" Then she smiled her genuine "Tohru smile" and walked over to the desk, placing papers in Hatori's hand. "I hope that's enough for the session."

Hatori sifted through the bills and handed them back, "More than enough. But take it back; you've had a rough month."

Tohru backed towards the door and said, "No. Take it, I came by unexpectedly. I can't accept money back when I owe you." She smiled again and opened the door. Kyo kept glancing from Hatori back to Tohru, not quite understanding what was going on.

"Bye Hatori. Thanks again." Tohru said and turned towards Kyo. "Bye Kyo. I hope you feel better." She said, nodding towards the cut above his eyebrow.

"How'd you know that my name was Kyo?" he asked.

Tohru turned red and said, "Oh no! Isn't it Kyo? I'm sorry. I didn't even realize that I said it. You just... feel like a Kyo. I remember it from somewhere. I'm sorry."

He shook his head and said, "No, no. It's fine."

Tohru walked out the doctor's office and Kyo turned towards Hatori. "How deep did you bury her memories?" Hatori was quiet and Kyo roared, "How deep Hatori!"

"Deep, Kyo. Very deep." But he was smiling. So he knew. The Sohma's flower was remembering. Not everything, but just enough to break through.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.

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CHAPTER 9

"So," Yuki said from the kitchen, standing over the sink with a pot in his hands. For the past month he had walked in a lanky motion, not really caring about consequences of his actions. Many days he would stay locked up in his room, not bothering to leave the house for school or even leave his room for meals. Why eat? Why bother? But when Hatori and Kyo had rushed into the house, faces eager, he had allowed himself out of his room, wondering and pleading internally. They explained (Hatori mostly) what had happened at the office and Yuki allowed himself to jump into the conversation. "What does this mean? Is she going to remember us?"

"You can never tell," Hatori answered professionally, "The memories were indeed buried deep, but with Tohru, anything can happen."

"Kyo," Shigure said from Yuki's left side, "What exactly did she say to you?" These days, Shigure didn't allow himself to breathe Tohru's name. It was an unspoken agreement, only the few calm and collected could let it fall from their lips without a stricken look upon their face. The Juunishi thought that Shigure would be able to handle this, more so than everybody else if only a little, but he had fallen short. He closed himself up in his office much like Yuki, only coming out for brief intervals. His laugh and smile, witty comments and quirky sense of humor were greatly missed. It seemed as if Tohru had unintentionally stolen a part of each of the Juunishi, taking it with her. For Shigure, it was what they needed the most: laughter and happiness.

Kyo sighed. "She was just about to go, she said thank you to Hatori and then she turned to me and said, 'Bye Kyo, I hope you feel better.' Then I asked her how she knew my name was Kyo," he smiled, remembering the look of surprise that he had grown accustomed to on Tohru's face, "And she said that I _feel_ like a Kyo. She remembers it from somewhere."

"She said that to me, too." Shigure said suddenly. "You know, that night? You were all asleep and we were talking. She said that my name sounds familiar. But she couldn't place it with a face. _My_ face." He looked sad. "Well, if you'll excuse me. I need to get back to work."

"Work?" Hatori and Yuki said in unison.

Shigure's face flushed and said, "A book. I _am_ a novelist you know. I can't give up. Besides, I'm getting to the good part."

And with that he was off, trailing back into his dark corner.

The room was dark and comfortable, just the way he liked it. He sat at his desk, thinking and plotting harder than he ever had before. This book was it, the turning point. He craned his neck, flexing his muscles to get comfortable. Then, inspiration struck.

"Yuki! Kyo! Come here for a minute."

The cat and rat made their way to the novelist's office, walking in and staring at him, waiting for him to speak.

"Sit down. I want you to listen to something." He said, grinning and pointing to the chairs opposite him.

Yuki was already making his way to the door, "Not now Shigure. I don't want to listen to your perverted stories."

"That hurts me, Yuki-kun." The novelist said, clutching his heart. "Actually, with all of these events swirling around, it hit me. This was all happening for a reason! The Gods are testing us my dear boys. Come, come. Listen." When they didn't budge he said, "Please. It'll only be a few moments."

The mouse and cat, bitter enemies, put their differences aside just for now. In all honesty, they were too tired to even think about fighting. They sat down resignedly in front of their cousin and waited for him to speak again. Instead, he shoved two stacks of paper their way and said, "Read this. Please."

The two looked at him and Kyo asked, "What is it?"

"Kyon-Kyon. Even _you_ know that that's paper! Honestly my dear boy, you should be paying attention in school more." Shigure laughed his bark-like laugh but the boys glared on. "Fine, fine. It's a story. A _new_ kind of story actually. It's for people your age. It has everything you need in a story really. Heartbreak," he ticked them off his fingers, "guilt, pain, love, honesty, regret. And not to mention, a wicked witch. I think it'll be a big hit."

"Shigure," Yuki said quietly, "Why are you doing this?"

"Because!" Shigure said, losing his demeanor. "You cannot sulk around the house all your life and I will not let you. She had changed you Yuki, and you too Kyo. You both know it, but now that she's gone, you've died. It wasn't her fault-"

"Nobody said it was Shigure," Kyo said heatedly.

"No. Everybody's blaming it on Hatori. Do you know what this is doing to him? Not even Kana affected him this way. Tohru had a way with everybody, so why don't you stop being so selfish. Other people are hurt! You can't go on sulking just because you're in pain. Think of what Tohru's going through right now. She can't even remember her _mother_. How do you think that must feel? What if you woke up one day, in a room full of strangers expecting the impossible from you? What if you woke up one day and Tohru was standing over you, but you couldn't remember who she was? What would _you_ do Yuki? Kyo?"

They were silent, realizing that they had indeed been selfish; more so than usual.

"Well," Kyo said quietly, "what do you want me to do?"

"Read the story Kyo. That's all I'm asking." Yuki looked up at Shigure's pleading tone. He took a good look at his older cousin. The life was gone from his eyes, he moved mechanically, not caring much. That little speech was the most passionate thing either of them had heard from him in a month. At twenty five, he looked forty. Yet, they hadn't noticed; nobody had. Everybody had been so caught up in their own grief that they hadn't noticed anybody else's.

Kyo stood up, grabbing the papers, and walked out the room. He hurried up the stairs, two at a time, and into his room. He rushed in, placing the papers on his bed, and then hurried out. He had to go somewhere, and that somewhere was only a few steps away. He quietly walked down the hallway into Tohru's room, closing the door quietly behind him. The furniture was still there, complete with a full pink comforter over her bed, but the clothes and hair ribbons were now filling closets and drawers in her grandfather's house; her house. He walked the perimeter of the room, running his fingers over the smooth wood of her dresser. He sat on her bed, breathing in the scent that seemed to linger in the room, even after all of these days. He ran his hand under the pillow and felt something papery. He pulled his hand out, object in tow. A letter, with Tohru's handwriting on the envelope reading, "My beloved Sohma's."


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket in any way.

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CHAPTER 10

"She wants to remember. Isn't that right? She wouldn't have written us a letter if she didn't want to remember!" The eager rabbit was called over as soon as the letter was opened. Along with Momiji came Kisa, Haru, Hatori, Ayame, Kagura, Ritsu and Hiro.

Hatori smiled wistfully and said, "Yes. She wants to remember."

"Does this mean that sissy's coming back?" Kisa said, glowing with hope.

"We're not sure. All we can do is hope."

A few hours earlier, they all sat down and read the letter that Tohru had written, previous to the erase.

_Beloved Sohma's,_ it read, _by now, I've probably had my memories erased. Not just of you, but of my friends and mother too. You see, me and Akito had a deal. If I did not die to break the curse, if I failed, I would have my memories erased. Either way I would lose you, but I could try. I'm sorry for failing you, knowing that I did hurts more than you could know. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but I was sworn to secrecy. I knew that if I told you what was going on, I would never be able to go through with the plan._

_Even though I won't remember you in a few hours, I want you to know that I love you all; more than anything in the world. My days with you have been the happiest of my life, and if I could do it all over again I would. Please do not be sad, just live your lives. You all have so much going for you; I wouldn't want to ruin that. And please, don't be mad at Akito. He didn't push me to this, I did it all on my own._

_Momiji, I'm sorry for letting you down. I know that we said that no memory was okay to forget. But, just know, that the memories that I've shared with all of you aren't forgotten, they're just temporarily lost. You are all too special to forget, so, one day, I'll remember. I don't know what will come of it, but I just want you to know that you're not forgotten. Lost is better, because then you can always find your way back._

_Love always,_

_Tohru_

"Is she right Tori-san? Are her memories just lost?" Momiji asked.

"Sort of. They're buried very deep; deeper than Kana's and others. But Tohru's special; she can remember what other people wouldn't be able to. But that's because she has the will to remember; she _wants_ to remember."

"How long will it be until she remembers again?" Yuki asked hesitantly.

"I can't say," Hatori answered, glancing at Yuki, "All I can say is, don't egg her on. It won't help. If you talk to her about past experiences it may trigger something else; something that Akito planted. You all may talk to her, but pretend that you've just met. Try to start over until she fully recovers."

"She _will_ fully recover, won't she?" Haru asked. His face was pale and his eyes looked a bit sunken in; darker than usual.

"Again," Hatori answered, grateful that Haru was talking to him again, "I cannot say. It all depends on Tohru. It's all up to her now."

Tohru took her time walking to class. She was fifteen minutes early and didn't feel like sitting in an empty classroom. Instead, she walked aimlessly through the hallways, smiling reflexively at people walking by. She was a bit dizzy and had to take light steps. Tohru walked over to the window and stared out at people walking by; she didn't see anybody familiar. She had to grab the window ledge to keep from falling. She clutched onto it like it was her life support, then let go and slid to the floor, breathing in deeply.

"Somebody call the nurse! _Tohru_! Tohru are you okay?" somebody shook her arm, causing her to bump her head on the wall behind her. "What are you doing just standing there? Go get the nurse! Don't worry Tohru, you'll be okay."

Tohru opened her eyes and saw a very stricken boy with flaming red hair staring back at her. She smiled, "Kyo. I remember." Then she fainted.

"Hatori, she's sick. Can't you do something? She's hallucinating. Why can't you help her?"

"Kyo, I'm sorry. There's nothing that I can do for hallucinations."

"Dammit Hatori, she thinks that her mother's still alive! She doesn't know what the hell's been going on."

"Maybe that's good for her Kyo, maybe it would have been better if she didn't remember."

"Better for who? You! Because then you wouldn't have to deal with another woman that you loved running out on you again. It's just like Shigure told me, Hatori. We're _all_ hurting. Why are you being so selfish?"

"I'm being selfish Kyo? There's nothing I can do! I'm not the one asking the impossible. You're right, she's sick. But she was fine before she remembered what happened. And we don't even know how much she even remembers; maybe she just remembers Uotani-san and Hanajima-san."

"You can pretend you believe that Hatori, but you and I both know that it's just an act. I can see it in your eyes Hatori; you _want_ her to remember, just as much as I do. Why can't you just admit it?"

"Because all we do is hurt Kyo. All we bring is pain, why can't you realize that? If you loved Tohru, you would just let her go."

"You don't believe that Hatori and you know you don't! She's had plenty of times to run away! She's had plenty of times to leave us, but she keeps _coming back_ Hatori, because she loves us too. Maybe you've forgotten how that feels since Kana's been gone, but don't you _dare_ take this away from me Hatori. She's all I've got."

"Then let her go. Do it before you hurt her even more."

Nobody was in the room when Tohru woke up. She didn't have to open her eyes to know where she was, the feel of the comforter over her and the sweet smell of perfume was enough to tell her. She was in her old room. She didn't want to disturb anybody, so she climbed to the roof, just like old times. She ran her fingers over the smooth panes and a million emotions came flooding back. Again she asked herself, what now? What would Akito do? What would _she_ do?

The breeze felt gentle and cool against her hot body. She watched the leaves swirl in the air and didn't really think of anything; she just enjoyed the peacefulness of the night.

"Tohru? Do you need anything?" she heard Kyo's voice say from the ladder. She turned to face him and shook her head while bidding him closer.

"The last time we were on the roof together I had a bit of an outburst didn't I?" she laughed, "I'm sorry about that."

Kyo shook his head, "Don't be sorry. We're just glad that you're remembering again."

He laid back and put his hands underneath his head, just like old times.

"Kyo," Tohru asked, "Can you just tell me what I missed while I was...gone."

"Honestly, not much. Life is pretty boring without you messing things up." They both smiled and Tohru felt her cheeks heat up.

"Am I supposed to still remember the curse?" she asked, "Because I do."

"Well, I guess that's a good thing. It would have been a bit complicated if you didn't remember that."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Then Tohru laid back and put her head on Kyo's chest, leaning into him but leaving just enough space so he wouldn't transform.

"Tohru?" Kyo asked, alarmed.

"Don't worry, I haven't forgotten. I've just wanted to do this for a while."

_So have I_, Kyo thought inwardly. But this wasn't the right time; he would tell her another time; when things weren't so hectic.

They lay there in silence, him stroking her hair, until their breathing fell into rhythm. Finally, they both drifted to sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket in any way.

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CHAPTER 11

"Tohru," Hatori said seriously, "you must choose what to do now. Akito may be, and probably will be, very upset that his plan did not follow through. It may be fatal."

Tohru almost laughed. "Fatal"; just last month she had almost _died_. Seems like Tohru had found a knack of getting herself into a bit of trouble lately. But, no matter _how much_ trouble Tohru could ever get in, she would never leave her dear Sohma's.

"I'm staying." She said firmly.

The thirteen smiled. They knew that nothing could stop her, but there was a tense and monotonous month where anything could happen.

"Are you sure?" Shigure said and twelve onlookers glared at him. Of course she was sure! She's had chance after chance to leave, yet she had always stayed; _always_. Why would she change her mind now? She wouldn't, would she?

"Of course I'm sure!" Tohru exclaimed, smiling determinedly.

He watched her clean the couch. He stood in the shadows as she washed the dishes. He glowered whenever she talked to any other male; part of the zodiac or not. He lived for her smiles, her laughs; her soul. He was the ray of sunshine that he needed during this dark time of his. Two more months and it was gone, whatever it was. One more week, and everything he had fought so hard to win would be stripped away from him. His new life, so shallow and secure; safe, would be taken away, as if he had never been there in the first place. All that would be left is a few fading memories and a broken girl, but Kyo didn't know that. He doesn't know of the countless replays of old conversations running through her head. _"We're just friends. How could anybody love somebody with so many faults? Somebody with so many lies." "Who could ever love the cat? Who could ever love this hideous creature trapped underneath my skin?" _He could. She could.

Half stolen glances during the day were okay, classes in mid-afternoon were highlights for the two. Everybody else could sense it. They're attraction had been growing more intense for ages. But Tohru, sweet naïve little Tohru could never see that. And even if Kyo could, he would never believe it. After one suicide and countless people abandoning him, Kyo doesn't understand the definition of "love", for he had never felt it. And he sometimes believes that he never will.

"Kyo-kun, will you come into my study?" Shigure asked coming in from the porch.

Kyo put down his pencil and abandoned his homework, following the dog into his office. Shigure sat down behind his desk and Kyo sat opposite him, on a comfortable reclining chair. Shigure took off his glasses and rubbed his temples. Kyo waiting impatiently, trying to decide whether this was worth his time at all.

"Have you told her?" Shigure asked quietly. Kyo was caught off guard, but he knew exactly what Shigure was talking about.

"No. And I don't plan to." He was suddenly hot. Really hot. This office was stifling dammit! What did that stupid dog do in here all day? Crack open a window for Christ's sake!

Shigure looked at Kyo with concern in his eyes. "I don't know if you understand what I'm asking you. You don't have to tell her of your plan if you don't wish to, but let me tell you, she'll find out one way or another. Secrets do not stay secrets that long in this family Kyo, I thought you knew that." He paused. "No, no. I'm talking about that certain _feeling_ that's been developing deep inside of you lately."

Kyo looked stricken. He can't be _that_ easy to read! Can he...?

Shigure laughed. "Kyo, my dear boy, everybody knows! Why do you think Kagura hasn't been around breaking my walls recently? Even Yuki knows. Thick the boy may be, but not _blind_. Honestly."

Kyo shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You don't have to take my advice Kyo, heaven knows you haven't once since we've met. But, just listen. One week. You have one week left, and I know you've been thinking about it; it's plastered all over your face. Let her know. Sooner than later. Because if you don't, it'll break her. And nobody will be here for her to help mend the pieces."

_Tell her. Tell her, Kyo. Be a big boy. Spill your feelings out like you can put them into words, and if you can't, try. Try as hard as you can, because she's worth it. _

_But she deserves so much more than me. Like they've been saying, a week and I'm gone. That's it; gone. Why put her through anything like that? I'd rather spend my last few days with her happily (although brooding and pleading inside) than have her completely repulsed by me. It's better this way. Because Tohru doesn't deserve anymore pain, and if I can stifle it, if only for a little while, than I'm going to do the best I can. Because she's worth it. Because she deserves more than the world has to offer._

"Morning, Kyo! You're up awfully early. Would you like some breakfast? I'm getting ready to prepare it now." Tohru's voice collided with Kyo's inner thoughts.

He smiled and said, "No thanks, I'm fine. How are you feeling?"

Tohru's face split into a huge grin. "I'm a lot better. I remember so much now, old memories." She paused. "Old feelings." She blushed and turned her head so Kyo couldn't see her red face. He caught it though, the heat seemed to be emanating from her and sent shock waves through the whole kitchen.

_Probably that dam Yuki_, he thought sullenly.

There was something different about this "new Tohru". She seemed much more laid back, much more at home. Back before the incident, she treaded so lightly, as if walking on eggshells, careful not to break or crack any. Now, she walks as if she owns the world, and it's so stunning. Her new confidence radiated about so much that it was hard not to look at her.

"Hey Kyo," she said suddenly, "what were you and Shigure talking about last night? You were awfully quiet once you got out of his study."

Kyo blushed crimson and Tohru looked stricken, "Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you upset!"

Kyo laughed and said, "It's okay. If the timing's right, you may find out soon."

Kyo's insides squirmed. _Why did I say that?_ He thought as he inwardly kicked himself. _How am I going to tell her?_

He didn't know what he was more scared of. Losing Tohru when he was still allowed into the outside world, or not confessing his feelings and living in "what-if's". They both hurt, and unknowingly, they both hurt more than one person.

"Okay." She said brightly. "Well, today's a half day because there's a teacher's convention, so I was wondering if I could come watch you at the dojo?" She finished the sentence so quietly; as if she said it any louder he would have been mad.

He tried hard to conceal a blush and said, "Yeah. That would be cool. Afterwards, maybe we could do something else...?" He too, finished a bit hesitantly. He was taking a leap that he didn't know if he should take.

"Yes! I'd love to! That would be really nice!"

_Not the response I would have expected..._ he thought, but inside his stomach was turning about so much he was grateful that he didn't eat any breakfast.

"What's this?" came a familiar mocking voice from the door, "Going on a date now are we?"

Standing in the doorway were Shigure and Yuki. Shigure looked mighty pleased with himself, as if he had just conquered hate. Yuki on the other hand, glowered and didn't look anybody in the eyes.

Tohru blushed and said, "N-no! We're just going to spend the afternoon together!"

Shigure smiled and playfully poked Kyo in the back. "Sounds like a date to me!"

Tohru blushed further and busied herself with the breakfast. Shigure made sure her back was turned when he looked at Kyo and shot him a look obviously saying, "This is your chance."

Kyo knew, but he wasn't ready for another rejection. He didn't think he could handle one more person fearing him. And if Tohru was that person, he would break. And there's not much left for him after that.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket in any way.

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CHAPTER 12

Tohru and Kyo made their way over to the dojo earlier than expected, so Kyo decided to show her a few moves.

"Remember 'right straight'?" He asked.

Tohru smiled, remembering the day she first met Kagura. That was the night she and Kyo bonded on the roof, talking about karate and the like. "Yes, I remember that one well."

Kyo smiled and said, "Okay, I'll hold my hand up. You try to aim right into the center. Don't try to throw your whole body into it, because you'll fall, you're not ready for stuff like that. Just keep your feet planted and firm on the ground. And bring your arm back and push forward."

Tohru's head was spinning. Throw your whole body? Planting? WHAT! She must have misunderstood Kyo's directions because she threw her punch with her whole body and lost balance, toppling over onto Kyo. He had seen it coming as soon as she set up her stance, and held his arms out to catch her. He must have been caught off guard by her scream and fell backward, Tohru on top of him. A little space was left between them and luckily, no cloud of orange surrounded the two. Their faces were so close that they could feel the heat emanating from the other. They lay there, each staring into the eyes of the other, wanting so dearly to do the inevitable. Kyo was the first to react, tearing his eyes away from Tohru.

"I-I'm sorry."

Tohru jumped up and held out a hand to help him up. He grabbed on and hoisted himself up. "No, I'm sorry! It was my fault. I didn't really understand what you were saying. I guess I should have asked what you meant." She laughed uneasily. Their hands were still intertwined. The both pulled away and laughed again.

"Hello Kyo-kun, Tohru-chan. Nice to see you hear today." Kazuma-san walked in, smiling at the scene in front of him. _Will my son ever learn?_ He thought, smiling.

He and Kyo spent the next hour or so working on his form. Tohru watched anxiously from the sidelines, jumping every so often. How she hated fighting. After an hour and a half, Kyo and Kazuma bowed to each other and Kyo went to wash up. Kazuma beckoned Tohru over and patted the spot next to him.

"Sit, sit. There's something important I wish to talk to you about."

Tohru obediently sat down and waited for Kazuma to speak.

"I don't know if Kyo has told you, and I'm sure he hasn't, but..." he paused. "This is one of the hardest times for the cat of the zodiac." Tohru listened intently. "You see, when the cat of the zodiac reaches his or her eighteenth birthday, they must be shunned from society. In this case, since Kyo goes to school, he is allowed to stay "free" a few months extra, and will be going into... that room in about one week. Do you understand what this means?" Tohru shook her head and Kazuma looked solemn. "It means, that after one week, you will never see Kyo again. He will be locked in a cell and never be allowed to come out. Never."

Never. He'll never be able to come out. That can't be! Tohru started to cry. Nobody noticed Kyo standing in the doorway, quietly looking on upon the conversation.

"We all thought that you should know. We have all known for a great deal of time, it's just fair that you know too. Kyo did not intentionally not tell you to hurt you. He probably didn't want you to leave like the others. I wouldn't know though, he hasn't talked to me in quite a bit of time."

"Kazuma-san, how can I help him? Is there anything I can do to help him stay... free? Anything I can do!"

Kazuma looked at the deep longing in Tohru's sea-green eyes. "Be yourself. Break the curse. That's all. Nobody's ever done it. We don't even know if there _is_ a cure. All we can do is hope and pray. And all _you_ can do," he said, looking at her sternly, "is be yourself. None of this other stuff. We have enough dread in our family."

Tohru bowed, "Thank you for telling me Kazuma-san."

Kyo came back out a few minutes later and forced on a happy face, as did Tohru. They walked in an uneasy silence, neither knowing quite what to say to the other. When they got to the center of town, they decided to get an ice cream. They sat down at a booth first, it looked like both wanted to talk to each other.

Kyo hesitated -

"Why didn't you tell me?" But Tohru had been quicker.

"I didn't... I didn't want you to leave me."

Tohru looked stricken. "Leave you! Why would I ever leave you! I-I l-"

_Oh, gosh. I almost said it!_ Tohru thought, clamping her hands over her mouth.

"You what?" Kyo asked, expectantly.

"I, um. I.. I would really miss your company. You mean a lot to me Kyo, I don't know what I would do without you."

Kyo took her hand from across the table and intertwined it within his own. He rubbed his thumb upon her silky hand and she blushed, as did he.

"You have no idea how much you mean to me Tohru." He said, voice quiet.

She was quiet for a minute. "I'm going to break the curse." She said determinedly.

"What?"

"I'm not letting you leave me. I'm breaking the curse. If I don't... then... then I'm coming in with you!"

"Tohru...you can't."

She looked hurt. "Do you not want me to?"

"Yes! N-no!" He didn't know _which_ he wanted. "You can't throw away your life just for me. I'm not worth it."

"Yes you are Kyo. To me you are."


	13. Update

Hi everybody. I just wanted to say sorry for the wait. But I'm in the middle of a move and everything's packed (including the notebook that I've been writing this story in) and it's just hectic. With my luck my mom might have thrown the notebook out - but let's not think that way. :)Anyway, I will try to have a new chapter in by Monday at the latest.

And I wanted to thank everybody for their kind replies on the story. I'm glad you all like it! If you ever want to talk about anything, just IM me. Have a good summer!


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